Difficult Conversations: Some people avoid difficult conversations by cutting off communication. We even have a term for that now. It's called ghosting, suddenly ending communication with someone without explanation. In a 2018 study, approximately 25% of respondents reported having been ghosted, and 22% said they had ghosted someone else. Have you ever experienced such disconnection? If so, take heart. Here is an example of a 10-year estrangement with a happy ending.

Thursday, after many years of estrangement, my two sisters and I reunited. Thank you for your role in catalyzing this blessed event, whose importance to our family is immeasurable. The basis of our estrangement lay in my sisters not understanding the path of peace I've taken since returning from the war in Viet Nam over 50 years ago. We hadn't spoken for the past decade, following a serious disagreement. The disagreement was so great that I assumed I'd never see or speak with them again. Nevertheless, as you know, about two months ago I began to include my sisters in my Distance Healing requests to support their enlightenment and good health. Our consequent reconciliation has come as a wonderful surprise—a great blessing. Suzanne, I'm so grateful for the role that Distance Healing has been playing in healing my family and in my receiving the many other benefits since I first requested Distance Healing in January. Life for Cam and me is becoming a superfluid flow of blessings.
Bruce Smith

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Bruce's reconciliation is a wonderful sequel to his first report detailing rapid physical, mental, marital and spiritual improvements. If you need support, I am there for you.

Never Speak Again

When I was searching for an illustration to go along with the topic of estrangement, I immediately thought of the above four-foot-by-two-foot (1.22 meters by 0.61 meters) oil on canvas which I started over 25 years ago. I never liked it, so I tried to make the problem areas disappear with black paint. That made it look even worse. I could not stand to look at this floral, so I hid it from view in my closet. Essentially, I ghosted it. I also abandoned my oil paints—too complicated and time-consuming. I began a full-blown affair with acrylics, which required far less emotional maintenance.

Recently, I attempted to reconcile with my floral disaster, the ex I kept bumping into in my closet like an unresolved karmic lesson. Normally I love to transform artwork, but my neglected paints resisted. The tubes were coated with a sticky film from years of leaking, and the caps were sealed shut, as if they had taken a vow of silence to never speak again. I resorted to prying off the caps with pliers. Apparently, my relationship with oils now required mechanical intervention. So far, the process felt more like home repair than creating art.

The Paint Gods Spoke

The temperamental oils were so thick, they wouldn't budge from the tubes. I squeezed until my forearms ached. My old romance with oils was going sour quickly. I caught myself thinking, "This is too much work. I should trash this eyesore and go back to acrylics."

I was seconds away from giving up, but I then tried one last thing. I put a paint tube on a waxed paper palette on the floor and stepped on it with my full weight. Victory! Finally, the paint gods had spoken! Soon I had glorious globs of color on my palette. I scooped up several colors of thick oils with a palette knife and smeared them on the canvas, see below.

Reconciliation

My husband cheered me on as I resurrected the abandoned artwork. This was a painting I started before I fell in love with him 20 years ago. Working on it felt like reconciling with an older version of myself who had been patiently waiting for reintegration.

The once silent oils stuck in their tubes became effusive. I found them on the bottom of my shoes, my hands, my clothes, the art table and the sink. It was a royal mess. Yet my husband encouraged me to do more when I just wanted it to be done. I recommitted, and flowers appeared where there were none, as follows.

Change of Heart

My hatred of this artwork disappeared as I enjoyed the creative flow. Applying the sumptuous paints with a palette knife reminded me of icing a cake. I worked on the floral in the evenings and couldn't wait to see it in the morning. Have you ever had such a change of heart with anything or anyone?

After much work and many tubes of paint, the completed painting I once ghosted appears below.

Now I smile when I see these flowers and am glad that I reconciled with this old extension of myself, a small piece of my inner world made visible.

Ghoster

Some relationships resemble an old tube of oil paint left untouched for years. The cap is stuck and the paint hardened. It's a sticky mess that seems easier to ignore than to restore. Yet with patience and care, what appeared dried up can begin to flow again and create something wonderful. Bruce and I did it, and so can you! 

Of course, some relationships must come to an end. Ideally, that is done in a kind and considerate way. If you have ghosted someone and it is appropriate, you might consider conveying a short message for clarity's sake. That way they are not confused or worried about your well-being, can feel some closure and move on with their life. In your message, you might indicate that even though you will not see them again, you appreciate them and wish them all the best. Something short and sweet can feel better than nothing at all.

Ghostee

If you have been ghosted by someone, remember that no one can lower your self-esteem except yourself. While it is normal to feel hurt temporarily, do not let anyone keep you down. Instead, engage with caring people and make new friends. Enjoy good food, exercise, meditation, floral painting or whatever feels nurturing.

Sometimes we ghost more than people. We can abandon projects, dreams and even parts of ourselves when disappointment sets in. Like a painting hidden away because its flaws seemed beyond repair, a relationship can appear destined for the discard pile. Yet when viewed with fresh eyes and a willingness to try again, what we once rejected can become a source of joy.

My wish for you is that whatever has been hidden, neglected or set aside in your life may be touched by healing, renewed with love and revealed as a blessing.

Your Thoughts

In the Leave a Comment section below, I would love to hear your thoughts about the contents of this post and my artwork. You may use your name or a pseudonym. We protect your privacy and will not display or share your email address.

Love,
Suzanne